Sheer Gratitude
As I sit here this morning, coffee in hand, the quiet stillness wraps around me like a blanket. My heart is tender, and tears stream down, not out of sorrow, but from sheer gratitude. Not because of what God didn’t do, but because of all that He has done.
When I look back over the whirlwind of these past few months, I stand in awe of how God has orchestrated every detail. Truly, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” (Psalm 37:23, NLT)
I remember talking to Cyndi (because of course, I always talk to Cyndi!) and feeling overwhelmed about how I was going to make my bills work, especially that car payment. It felt impossible. But then, out of nowhere, a deer hit my car, and suddenly, that payment was gone. God made a way where there was none. “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19, NLT)
And oh, the countless conversations I had with God about Karin and the Clarissa house. I asked Him over and over, how was I ever going to break free from that situation? Then came the unexpected: Karin was moving out of state, already had a buyer for the house, and was leaving everything behind. No cleaning. No closure. Just chaos. I walked through that house, garage sale piles in the driveway, rooms strung out with stuff, animals left behind, and I felt paralyzed. Where do I even start?
Cyndi and I began the sorting, cleaning, trying to untangle the mess. She suggested we ask the ladies for help, but shame gripped me. I was embarrassed by the condition of the house. I took on Karin’s mess like it was mine. But the truth is, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1, NLT)
And yet, God was in the details. I found important documents, Jazzy’s birth certificate, house papers, things I’d thought were long gone. But every time I needed to reach out to Karin, she ignored my calls, emails, and texts. The silence was deafening.
One week into cleaning, I hit a wall. I was alone in that house, completely emotionally spent. I wept and shouted, questioning God. And then… silence. As worship music played softly in the background, His voice whispered to my soul, “Walk away. Let it go. You don’t need this. You don’t want this.”
He was calling me to surrender. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7, NLT) And when I finally did, it was as if a massive weight was lifted. The cloud of heaviness broke. Peace rushed in like a flood.
The very next day, I called a man whose number Jane (a beautiful lady from my Bible study) had passed on through Cyndi the week before. He came, gave me a price, and just like that, the burden was being removed, piece by piece. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NLT)
Now, the house is cleared, the buyer is ready, and I can already feel the chains breaking. And as for my car? God isn’t just providing, He’s blessing. Through the sale of the house, I’ll have enough to get a new one. No more payments. And yes, even money left in the bank, because “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” (2 Corinthians 9:8, NLT)
So I take another slow sip of my coffee, breathe in the morning air, and I whisper thanks to my Father. For going before me. For laying out a path with purpose and precision. “You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head.” (Psalm 139:5, NLT)
When I look back over the whirlwind of these past few months, I stand in awe of how God has orchestrated every detail. Truly, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” (Psalm 37:23, NLT)
I remember talking to Cyndi (because of course, I always talk to Cyndi!) and feeling overwhelmed about how I was going to make my bills work, especially that car payment. It felt impossible. But then, out of nowhere, a deer hit my car, and suddenly, that payment was gone. God made a way where there was none. “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19, NLT)
And oh, the countless conversations I had with God about Karin and the Clarissa house. I asked Him over and over, how was I ever going to break free from that situation? Then came the unexpected: Karin was moving out of state, already had a buyer for the house, and was leaving everything behind. No cleaning. No closure. Just chaos. I walked through that house, garage sale piles in the driveway, rooms strung out with stuff, animals left behind, and I felt paralyzed. Where do I even start?
Cyndi and I began the sorting, cleaning, trying to untangle the mess. She suggested we ask the ladies for help, but shame gripped me. I was embarrassed by the condition of the house. I took on Karin’s mess like it was mine. But the truth is, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1, NLT)
And yet, God was in the details. I found important documents, Jazzy’s birth certificate, house papers, things I’d thought were long gone. But every time I needed to reach out to Karin, she ignored my calls, emails, and texts. The silence was deafening.
One week into cleaning, I hit a wall. I was alone in that house, completely emotionally spent. I wept and shouted, questioning God. And then… silence. As worship music played softly in the background, His voice whispered to my soul, “Walk away. Let it go. You don’t need this. You don’t want this.”
He was calling me to surrender. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7, NLT) And when I finally did, it was as if a massive weight was lifted. The cloud of heaviness broke. Peace rushed in like a flood.
The very next day, I called a man whose number Jane (a beautiful lady from my Bible study) had passed on through Cyndi the week before. He came, gave me a price, and just like that, the burden was being removed, piece by piece. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NLT)
Now, the house is cleared, the buyer is ready, and I can already feel the chains breaking. And as for my car? God isn’t just providing, He’s blessing. Through the sale of the house, I’ll have enough to get a new one. No more payments. And yes, even money left in the bank, because “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” (2 Corinthians 9:8, NLT)
So I take another slow sip of my coffee, breathe in the morning air, and I whisper thanks to my Father. For going before me. For laying out a path with purpose and precision. “You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head.” (Psalm 139:5, NLT)
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